Friday, October 5, 2012

I Have Short Arms

In one of the more ironic moments of my life, I once dressed as a T-Rex.  It was several years ago in high school for senior incognito day, my group of friends decided that we were going to dress up as characters from the movie Toy Story, and I was Rex.  It was a lot of fun, I remember staying up way to late making a paper mache dinosaur head, dying clothing green, painting clothing, dying shoes, and even constructing a tail that as the day progressed  I would grow to hate.  You try to navigate your way through a mass of 2500 people with a giant dino head and a 5 foot long tail… needless to say it was a learning adventure and we did win, so that was a plus and it is a great memory.

It was so ironic to me because I have always thought my arms weren’t quite in proportion with the rest of my body.  I feel like they need to just be a few inches longer.   Remember in Toy story 2 Rex  is trying to beat a video game and he cries out in defeat “I have little short arms, I can’t hit both buttons at the same time!!!” I have felt his pain, well maybe not with buttons, but man I have thought so many times, if my arms were just a bit longer. 

As my life has changed so much as of late and really over the past year, I have several times wished “I had longer arms,” I have longed for abilities and things that I thought if I just had that, this would be so easy. Or thought man, if God would allow me this, just think how he could use it.  Usually it is fleeting and nothing that significant, but this week, He opened my eyes to a moment of me desiring longer arms and it blew my mind.

It is currently the festival of the dead in my new homeland.  What that means is that people have to go to the wats (temples) to leave food for their ancestors or their ancestors will curse them.  It is very dark thing, and it is always right in your face, especially when the monks are chanting or calling the towns people over the loud speaker system.  It is a pretty constant drone… and it is disheartening. To see people headed to the wat, and not really be able to do anything.  To see the ever present fear and lack of hope manifested on people’s faces, is heart breaking.  I was making dinner one night this week and talking to the Father, while my iTunes was shuffling in the background, I was begging God for longer arms, I am struggling with the communication barrier. I am taking language classes, but it is one of those things that you cannot rush. But I want to be fluent today. Not tomorrow, today.  I want to be able to share the Love and the Hope that can only be found in Jesus.  I want to tell my sweet landlord and her family, that God loves them and that fear doesn’t have to be a part of daily life. I was pouring out my heart to God, saying Lord this is for you name and your glory, just let me wake up knowing what to say and how to say it…. Then my iTunes changed, I am pretty sure that it had been playing the theme from “A Goofy Movie” then it started to play “My Deliverer”  by Rich Mullins. I was speechless. God is the deliverer of me and HE is the deliverer of these people.  

God doesn’t have T-Rex arms…..

I know that may sound silly and a little elementary, but think about it for a second.  God doesn’t need longer arms.  He is coming for His people.  He is accomplishing His purposes throughout the world right now.  And part of that is using a blond haired, short-armed, English speaking girl from OKC in SE Asia.  I don’t know yet what that exactly looks like and that is OK, because God has got this, like He always has. My heart is still broken for the lost people of the world, the monks chanting is still driving me to my knees to beg that God would pierce the darkness of this place with His Light, and I am still frustrated by language.

But to this I cling:

“The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.”  Zephaniah 3:17

God doesn’t have T-Rex arms.

by grace and with much love,

ps: I know these past two post have been similar and a little heavy.  I promise I will post a “what my life is like here post” soon.    


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